A young boy once told me he would be someone;he would fight for independence, for peace,and for love. Growing up, this boy was told he had to act a certain way, to not stand out because that was just how it was. But he learned that he was different, that he had dreams, goals and ambitions to be something greater…..more than he currently was. He sat in his chair observing the trees that changed and grew every season, knowing he would do the same when the time was right. He was hurt numerous times when peers and family did not understand who he was, and that made the hate and wanting to get away stronger. So it came on the 13th of June 2008-told to leave his once called home and so his life began. He saw so many wonderous sights, beauty unlike anything he had ever laid eyes on before. He felt alone though,for what he once thought was his life, was just a lie. No one could understand how horrible he felt in the previous years, so he began to close up and so the walls of defense were put up. Months went by as he ventured throughout California-San Diego,Orange County,Riverside County,LA County, and all the way up to San Francisco County. He did talk to his family from time to time during that 18th year of his life, but he never forgave them for what they did. He never felt like he was part of something,never knew what love was. He longed for the knowing of this word, to comprehend how it felt to be wanted. So he waits to understand this;until then he resides in San Francisco,CA trying to understand what life means, what he is supposed to do,why he is here on this planet facing hardships alone. Of course,this is what life is all about correct? To understand the meaning of life, to look the source straight in the eye and ask “the” question we all come across at some point in our lives. Was this boy meant to be an author,philosopher, portray his thoughts to the world to help them understand what he really feels? Or will he conform to the media and live his life not knowing what truly is real. Life tends to be too hard to deal with sometimes. Why cant we just be?
I just want to be noticed for who I really am. But how do I let others in? How do i put down these walls that have been placed for so many years? I do not want sympathy, for I am strong willed and know how to carry on, but how do you overcome these obstacles? I want to know there is more to life than working day and night. I just want to be happy, and i believe i will not find this here. Most say to stay and get my education,that i have everything in the world going for me right now. But if you were not happy, would you stay and let others control your life? Or would you take life by the reigns and take a leap of faith into the unknown, not having a clue what lay around the corner?
If you are to judge me for this, then im sorry for you. For we all have our insecurities, and who are you to judge when you are not perfect yourself? And so i close with this-We all are striving for one thing in this world…..To be noticed,loved,cared for, to just be. We all have a common need and when we dont achieve this, we fall into pieces. I dream of a world far better off than this one. Will I ever see this fantasy come true? I hope so, but until then, all I can do is just be myself,learn from the challenges I face, and help this world become a better place.
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