Hello World,
Leaves turn,a sun rises,people come and go, a sun sets.
I am saddened that I gave into this medication. It numbed me, it took away what I am best at. I live my life with my emotions,and choose with my heart. I do not want to live If I cannot do so. This world is trying to control us and make us “perfect”. But that’s the beauty of it…We are far from it and that’s just alright. My emotions are the reason I was able to fight against close-minded individuals,move to 2 major cities knowing very little of each and show what I am really made of. Never again will I give into anti-depressants or a drug that “controls” me. Id rather be depressed for weeks and fill up lakes with my tears than conform to this robotic society we live in today.
What will come of me in these upcoming months? I am unsure. But I am ready for anything to knock me down. For i will just get right back up with another excuse to live my life to the fullest and finish what I started 5 years ago. I was afraid to let my true colors show, but I will not hide anymore. Anger,Sadness,Regret,Disappointment,Bliss,Happiness and Joy flow through my veins. A friend once told me that our emotions do not define us, “We can see them and say ‘lonely is with me right now’,not ‘I am lonely’, reminding us that the emotion will pass and we can visualize it passing”. This is how I will view emotions from now on. Treat them as individuals and you will never feel alone again. They are always with you, just waiting in line to have their turn to make life more of an adventure.
Think.Think.Think.
That’s all I have been doing. I need to remember how to feel free and appreciate what I have in life at this very moment. Be in the moment and revel in its beauty.
You decide what life you want. A world of color and emotion, or a dark landscape of being content and numb. I have already chosen,now its your turn.
Kevin Stock
11:03 AM EST.
9/28/11
